With the Sun crossing over the zenith, why do I stare at the
nadir! I know morning is over but why does the evening look so dark? They say ‘life
begins at 40’ but I feel I have had an irrevocable loss. What is it that I have
lost with age? Is it that chance to start afresh is gone as I get the feeling
that my life has been molded now and cannot be started again? Is it the feeling
that what I wanted to achieve and always thought that I would be able to, is
not possible. Am I facing a stark reality?
Have I not achieved anything in my 40 years? Or it that I am
not happy with what I have got? Why do I feel that the better part of my life
is gone? Have I presumed that my remaining numbers of years are fixed and insufficient.
Can’t these years be extended, have I arrived with a pre-designated expiry
date?
May be a better way of looking at it is that if given a second
chance to live again 'my' these 40 years, would I live them differently? What
more or different would I do? And can’t I do that now?
I would like to learn
from my mistakes and not do them but then that I can do in my coming years by
not repeating them and still make my life worthwhile. I would like to be a
better person. A person who can look at things more objectively. Somebody, who reacts in an appropriate manner
or in a more mature manner. I would like to change my attitude. I would want to
shed away my lethargy, my inertia and become more proactive, more enterprising.
I would like to take care of my body more and would give it more respect and
service. I would like to explore more, to learn more.
But then all these things I still can do. I want to be more
successful, is that not possible now? I can be more successful or is it that I
am looking at a fixed level of attainment and that looks unreachable. Are there
certain things that are not possible to do now say a particular kind of a job.
The thing I would not want to do is ‘procrastination’ because that is
responsible for those things that I can’t achieve now.
So if I was to get a ‘take home’ message from my ’40 years’,
it is:
1.
To learn from mistakes and not repeat them
2.
Have a positive attitude
3.
Don’t procrastinate, and be more enterprising
4.
My body is an asset, to deal with it wisely
If I can do these, I am sure, I won’t need another life!
