Turning 40

With the Sun crossing over the zenith, why do I stare at the nadir! I know morning is over but why does the evening look so dark? They say ‘life begins at 40’ but I feel I have had an irrevocable loss. What is it that I have lost with age? Is it that chance to start afresh is gone as I get the feeling that my life has been molded now and cannot be started again? Is it the feeling that what I wanted to achieve and always thought that I would be able to, is not possible. Am I facing a stark reality?

Have I not achieved anything in my 40 years? Or it that I am not happy with what I have got? Why do I feel that the better part of my life is gone? Have I presumed that my remaining numbers of years are fixed and insufficient. Can’t these years be extended, have I arrived with a pre-designated expiry date?

May be a better way of looking at it is that if given a second chance to live again 'my' these 40 years, would I live them differently? What more or different would I do? And can’t I do that now?

I would like to learn from my mistakes and not do them but then that I can do in my coming years by not repeating them and still make my life worthwhile. I would like to be a better person. A person who can look at things more objectively.  Somebody, who reacts in an appropriate manner or in a more mature manner. I would like to change my attitude. I would want to shed away my lethargy, my inertia and become more proactive, more enterprising. I would like to take care of my body more and would give it more respect and service. I would like to explore more, to learn more.

But then all these things I still can do. I want to be more successful, is that not possible now? I can be more successful or is it that I am looking at a fixed level of attainment and that looks unreachable. Are there certain things that are not possible to do now say a particular kind of a job. The thing I would not want to do is ‘procrastination’ because that is responsible for those things that I can’t achieve now.

So if I was to get a ‘take home’ message from my ’40 years’, it is:

1.       To learn from mistakes and not repeat them

2.       Have a positive attitude

3.       Don’t procrastinate, and be more enterprising

4.       My body is an asset, to deal with it wisely

If I can do these, I am sure, I won’t need another life!