I am feeling homesick today
at home!
Feeling is same as it was
thirty five years ago
in the hostel
away from my father!
My dad
had key to all the problems
just being with him
and everything was easy!
First time I had this feeling
the day he dropped me to the hostel
and told me that he would return
in few hours,
I knew he always kept his word
he would be back sooner than he said
but he didn't turn up
each minute of the wait
was an inferno
and then my uncle turned up
to fulfill my needs
I was devastated to see him
as I knew he always kept his word
Dad met an acccident
on his way back from the hostel
but all my worries were gone
when I talked to him on phone
all was well, nothing to fear!
Thirty five years later
I again had this feeling
when he messaged me
from the ICU
he said he was going and bade good bye
I broke down
as I knew he always kept his word
I called him back, I could
and told him that he was not going anywhere
he didn't contradict me
he always followed me as a physician
but then wrote a letter
and went far away
so far that I couldn't call him this time,
he always kept his word!
He believed in prayer, in piety
In his Pooja Room, in temples
he prayed to the deity
so that God took care of us,
he would ensure that the idols were
never unattended!
Today, the deity lies unattended,
nobody to take care of the God,
Lifelong
was God taking care of him
or was he taking care of the God?
This home
which I never left
where I always lived with him
this home
makes me homesick today
this home
without my Dad
doesn't feel like home
home, where is it??
This home
that he built
that he built for us
for us to live
and be without fear or worry
this home
is blessed
this home
this very home
is where the home is
and he is there
within us
this home
is the temple
and we are both
the devotee and the deity
and he is there within us
both as the devotee that he was
and the deity that he is!
He is here
with me
just need to recognize
the divine light.
