rahu kalam

जैसे कि ' राहु काल' था,
अचानक सर से हट गया,जो  बवाल था।
कभी क्या खूब था,
फिर गया  सारा तिलस्म डूब था।
फिर नज़र आने लगा है एक ताज महल
फिर उसमे क़दमों कि है चहल-पहल,
जनाब! मैं तो वोही था, हूँ और है मुमकिन,
कि रहूँ,
ये तो आपकी शाही नज़र है,
जो कभी नज़रे-शिकायत थी,
वो फिर नज़रे-इनायत है,
यूं लगता है कभी, कि हमारी ज़िन्दगी
सफाई देने कि एक कवायद है।
अरे अरे रुको, चल दो न यूँही
ये शिकायत नहीं, ये तो मेरी खुद से गुफ़तगू है,
कम से कम अभी तो  नज़रे करम है
इतना ही सुकून है!

better..........luck, next time! i hope!!

I have been called at times by neighbors in desperate situations. While many years ago, i used to be jittery of making a wrong diagnosis or administering a wrong management, now I understand the limitations of the situations well and know that I am not required to do miracles, just make a difference if I can!

This couple, nearing their 80s are very close and dependent on us for their medical and emotional support. they don't take any kind of help from their son and his family, who live on the first floor. Today morning I got a call from uncle and I could sense the doom in his voice when he said, 'pata nahin sudesh ko kya hua hai'. In 10 seconds flat I was there and saw aunty sitting lifeless on the sofa with inhaler in her hand. I pulled her down on the floor, assessed her heart beat that was not there and started cardiac massage. Told uncle to summon a CATS ambulance, his son and whosoever can drive. He couldn't connect to the ambulance, was reluctant to call his son and confused to do anything else. I, while doing cardiac massage, asked him to call Rita and other neighbors. By now, aunty had gasped twice and my optimism was increasing. Neighbors came and announced 'deepak ko bulayo', then realized that I was already there but seeing me doing cardiac massage, asked me 'do we need to go to the hospital??? or is it over???'. My frustration was mounting and I ordered, call the son, my wife and ambulance from whereever. Rita has great managerial skills in panic situations and I knew she would do something. Fortunately, son came down, mobilized a car. Me, the son and daughter-in-law tried to lift the bulky body into the car and did it with great difficulty. Reached the nearest hospital wthin 5 minutes. Asked the lone casualty wardboy to get a stretcher, he replied, wahan se le lo'. By now I was totally exhausted doing cardiac massage and lifting her and had sprained my back badly, was unable to bend, my hands started trembling with weakness. I approached the CMO, introduced myself and requested for her to be shifted in. He obliged, I also pleaded for help to whomever i saw. 4 people shifted her in. The SR or somebody came and started taking history. I told him, let's start resus simultaneously. By now everybody was getting the feel that I am some doctor and from my age they could gauge that am not very junior. The SR took over the cardiac massage as he found me totally exhausted, I started doing AMBU, the JR put in the line, sister pushed in ADR and ATR,. We intubated her and suctioned lot of secretions. Everything was in place, ECG technician pulled out a straight line, the pupils were fixed dilated, it was all over many minutes ago.

 

I wished we had a better ambulance response, better manpower and training to shift unconcious pateints, better physique, longer time for brain to become dead or .......................simply better luck.

 

Though I knew, I didn't succeed but I had not failed in my duty. That was the only positive in the grim situation!!

 

vibhed

मनुष्य हूँ मैं, मनु का पुत्र,
भेद-भाव मेरी प्रकृति है।
स्वयं को श्रेष्ठ स्थापित करूं,
इसी तात्पर्य हेतु ये युक्ति है।
जन्म होते ही मुझे ज्ञात है,
कि मेरी मृत्यु निश्चित है, शत-प्रतिशत। 
फिर भी मुझे भय है,
मेरी दुर्बलतायों ने परस्पर ही किया है मुझे आहत। 
हर व्यक्ति, हर वास्तु भयावह है,
कहीं मेरी हीनता समक्ष आ गयी,
तो मेरा अंत तय है।
यही सोच मुझसे हर क्षण परिश्रम करवाती है,
श्रेष्ठ सिद्ध होने को नए - नए समीकरण बनवाती है। 

"मैं पुरुष,  तुम नारी।
मैं सवर्ण नारी, तुम कुलहीन बेचारी!
मैं सुवर्ण, सुदेह, तुम विकृत।
तुम तिरस्कृत, मैं परिस्कृत।
मैं अधिकारी, तुम अधिकृत।
मैं समर्थ, तुम निरर्थ।
मैं एक आविष्कार , तुम व्यर्थ।
मैं वृद्ध, तुम अज्ञान बाल,
मैं चढ़ता सूर्य, तुम सांयकाल।"

और इस प्रयोग कि पराकाष्ठा है,
जो मेरी अपने अहम् में आस्था है।

"मैं ज्ञानी , तुम अबोध।
मैं सर्वदा सौम्य, तुम पुनि पुनि करते क्रोध।
मैं भला, मैं उचित, मैं महान। 
मैं श्रेष्ठ हूँ,
क्योंकि मेरी सोच है सतोगुण प्रधान।
तुम हीन  हो,
क्योंकि तुम गुण विहीन हो।"

येन-केन-प्रकारेण हर तर्क कि प्रदा 'अंतर' है,
सत्ता, बल और मत के साथ
तादात्मय स्थापित करने का प्रयास, निरंतर है।
क्योंकि विविधता संसार की  प्रकृति है,
और शाश्वत जीवन कि इच्छा, भय, भेद-भाव
ये मनुष्य कि प्रवृति है।
यदि सौहार्द को जीवन का मूलाधार बनाएं
तो संभवतः दूसरों का ही नहीं ,
अपना भी जीवन सरल, साकार बनाएं।
 चलो भेद-भाव को त्याग कर
सबको ह्रदय से लगाएं,
संसार को एक जीने योग्य जगह बनाएं। 

Is happiness the key to life?

life, thy name is change!
Everyday the meaning of life is changing. Happiness, seems to be the core of life. It sounds prudent to measure the success in life with the happiness quotient rather than achievements. However, even the meaning of happiness is dynamic. Sometimes our achievements give us happiness, sometimes the pursuit to achieve itself makes us happy and at other times we might be happy taking a break from all that.
So what is it that gives us happiness truly? What is the formula of the magic potion of happiness. It might be defined in words like "when your inner self is in harmony with the external nature". The question, however, is how to do that?? Can same formula be applied at all times?
Success or possession of something may give us a high but is it happiness, or is it a transient happiness?
It may become possible in future to go to a salon, pay the fee and get your 'happiness centre' stimulated and be happy for the amount of time you can afford to.
Can we train our mind to be happy, in spite of whatever happens to our self or outside? Will that be normal or the right thing to do? Is it appropriate to be happy in a situation when one shouldn't be? Is the assumption that being happy is the best form of living, correct?? Is it wrong to be sad?

So, if it is not happiness, then what defines life? Is it being appropriate? Who defines what is appropriate? Can there be only one appropriate?

to be continued.......

An ode to the 'gas'

The national ailment, no doubt, is the 'gas',
that refuses to pass through the ass,
in the 'stomach', it continues to churn,
sometimes causes 'discomfort', otherwise 'heartburn'
it descends down in the knees, causing 'arthritis'
further down known as 'plantar fasciitis',
it's most troublesome when it ascends in the 'chest'
oh! in the head, it is at it's best!

This 'gas' is the nemesis of science,
only 'gas' has the unique ability
to explain all causes of human debility.
But for the 'gas',and the compelling need to pass
no tobacco would have been sold,
in fact, it is the philosopher's stone
turning all diseases into gold,
quackery's backbone!

True, no life is possible without 'gas'
my gratitude, am not able to release,
how do i express!!

Teri muskurahat mein na sahi
Tere uljhe hue balon mein
Teri nigahon mein na sahi
Tere bechain khayalon mein
Mere javabon mein na sahi
Tere nashtarnuma sawalon mein
Yakinan main tere ird gird hoon
Tere aaj mein na sahi
Tere beete hue saalon mein
Beshaq main vahin hooon
Teri mehfil mein na sahi
Tere ghar ke tanha jalon mein
Par main hoon
Aur yakinan yahin hoon
Teri zubaan pe na sahi
Par tere sabhi halon mein

Sach hai ki sab fareb hai
Meri baatein , mere khyal
Meri jirah, mere sawal
Kyunki main tere liye hoon hi nahin
To phir bhala mere liye
Tu kaise ho sakta hai
Jab main teri duniya mein nahin
To bhala tu meri duniya mein kaise
Is baat ka ab tak mujhe sakta hai

The doctor on ventilator

"To cure the world,

the doctor was there,

now he's busy curing his ills,

earning his bread 

and churning his greed

don't go to him

for your grim,

he can't make you better,

he's himself on ventilator"